#246 - The Long, Long Con

Transcript

[Caption: STEP 1: INVENT AN AS-YET UNHEARD OF UNIX VARIANT FROM THE 1960'S]
Mel: I SHALL CALL IT... MEL-OS.
[Poster: THE [CRYSTAL] GEMS]

[Caption: STEP 2: GO TO A UNIVERSITY WEBSITE AND SELECT A PARTICULARLY CRUSTY OLD COMPUTING SCIENCE PROFESSOR. GENERATE A GITHUB PROFILE USING THIS PROFESSOR'S NAME.]
[Screen: Dr. Crankschlatz / crankschlatz / Juneau, Alaska / Overview / Repositori[es] / Popular repositories / cs-108: Questions for CS-108 / fourier_transforms: Some sample code for Four[ier...]]

[Caption: STEP 3: USING A COMBINATION OF PHOTOSHOP AND SOME BASIC WEB PUBLISHING TOOLS, FABRICATE AN ELABORATE BACKSTORY FOR THIS OS, INCLUDING FAKE ACADEMIC RESEARCH PAPERS, UNDER THE PROFESSOR'S NAME.]
[Screen: WIKIPEDIA The Free Encyclopedia / Main page / Contents / Featured content / Current events / Random article / Donate to Jimmy / Wikipedia store / Interaction / Article / Talk
MEL-OS
From Wikipedia, give money to Jimmy Wales.
Mel-OS is a research operating system based on the POSIX standard, developed ...
In Mel-OS, the kernel is protected from all pes... trap calls must use a trap card, which shoul...
The system continues to be used and develop... Glenda. Some of the protocols used are st...
Contents [hide]
1 History
2 Design concepts
2.1 Secure computing on insecure hardware
2.2 Very elaborate pranks
2.3 Filesystem-as-a-service
2.3.1 /proc
2.3.2 /bitches
2.4 Mailbo[x]]

[Caption: STEP 4: ISSUE DOZENS OF PULL REQUESTS TO HIGH-PROFILE OPEN-SOURCE PROJECTS CLAIMING TO ADD MEL-OS COMPATIBILITY. EACH PULL REQUEST ONE MORE LINK IN AN ELABORATE CHAIN, THAT, WHEN INVOKED TOGETHER, FINALLY ACTIVATES THE VIRAL PAYLOAD.]
[Diagram: FINALLY]

[Caption: TIMES SQUARE, NEW YEARS' EVE]
[Billboard: I SLEPT WITH YOUR WIFE. CALL ME. I FIGHT YOU. 1-788-555-10[...]]
[Signs: REUTERS / [N]ASDA[Q]]

Milo: WHY?
Mel: YOU DIDN'T REFILL THE COFFEE AFTER YOU POURED THE LAST CUP.
Milo: THIS IS NOT A PROPORTIONATE RESPONSE

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