#205 - Windy Pillows

After hiring a sales guy as our CEO and a clueless new CTO, Sauce's new leadership paid thousands of dollars to get THIS guy to speak in front of us as a crowd about the success of agile at places like Hewlett Packard.

It came off as a little tone-deaf, and this was the start of a process that would end with me leaving the company a few months later.

Transcript

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Man in sweater vest: MAN, THIS KICKOFF IS GOING TO BE GREAT! DID YOU ALL READ THAT BOOK THE CEO BOUGHT US? I HEAR HE'S LINED UP A TALK FROM THE AUTHOR!
Lain: THE ONE WITH THE GRAPH ON THE COVER THAT LOOKED LIKE A BUTT?

Cube Drone: OH, YEAH! I TOTALLY READ IT. I AM GOING TO AGILE MANAGEMENTIZE THE HELL OUT OF MY PARADIGMS.
Lain: I ACTUALLY READ IT AND IT WAS HOT GARBAGE FROM END TO END.

Milo: I FOUND THE BOOK VERY USEFUL. IT IS COLD IN MY CABIN THIS TIME OF YEAR.
Sparky: WE GOT A BOOK?

[Caption: SOON:]
Speaker: I AM BEING PAID HANDSOMELY TO BE HERE. LET'S LOOK AT SOME STOCK PHOTOS WHILE I READ TO YOU FROM MY BOOK.

[SFX: CLICK!]
[Slide: Venn diagram - AGILE, ENTERPRISE, SWEET SPOT]

[SFX: CLICK!]
[Slide: ITERATIONS, PRODUCT, CUSTOMER]

[Slide: BUY MY OTHER BOOK! 40% MORE PROFITS! REVOLUTIONIZE YOUR DOLLAR STREAMS! FIRE HALF OF YOUR DEVELOPERS!]
[Book cover: AGILE SOFTWARE SYSTEMS - WINDY PILLOWS]
Speaker: AS YOU CAN SEE, I SPEND A LOT OF MY TIME THINKING ABOUT AGILE.

[© 2015 CURTIS LASSAM - CUBE-DRONE.COM]

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